7th April 2017. Katru Veliyidai released on theatres and not many films got me so obsessed that I ended up watching it on Day 1. Then on Day 2 and then a few days later. I don’t even remember which is the other film that I got to see so many times on theatres.
I mean did I like the film? Was a crazy fan of Mani Ratnam?
I can go ‘haaan’ for both. No, don’t get me wrong. I’m a fan of him, but I went to watch the film for my Leela. Aditi Rao Hydari. I mean, do I need a better reason? I wasn’t into the film back then.
Probably, everyone knows how big a fan I’m of Aditi and oh yeah, the colour red as well. You cannot stop me from being there if you are going to have them both in abundance. Yes, I’m talking about ‘Sarattu Vandiyila..’ song. It was/is picture-perfect for me, and I can still remember how it was to watch it on theatres. I cannot go more than ‘beautiful’ because I’m not so good with words.
Aditi is/was and always been my lucky charm. I know that is funny because I have never seen her and I don’t think she even knows that I exist but still, she was there for me through her films, songs and even pictures. Well, I don’t want to sound creepy here but that is how it is.
With Leela, it is a kind of reunion for me because it was so long for her to get back to Tamil. I don’t think many would have seen her first Tamil film but I did and maybe that is why I felt special when I saw Leela on screens.
Her first film was so long ago, and all I could think is how far she has come in this industry. She hung in there, held the rope tight and climbed all the way up. It is like watching someone you know very well, like a sibling or like your close friend, growing in front of you. I know this is a kind of crap and I’m blabbering here but hey, it’s Aditi. And you got to go through, walk in my shoes to realize how it feels.
Leela Abraham was a damsel in distress. She had her own set of vulnerabilities and most of them related to how she let her man, who is a literally a chauvinist to treat her badly.
She is so pissed off with herself because she kept giving in to whatever he said even though she didn’t want to. She thinks right when he isn’t around but his charm makes her weak on her knees and she ends up doing what he wants.
She fights with him when he “orders” her but they reconcile once he expresses his love. With VC, there is no in-between. He either treats Leela as a queen or throws her like a rock, the worst. However, she finds reasons to love him.
When he forgets at their marriage and moves to Delhi. Still, she looks into the brighter spot of VC. Which is, he loves her and vice versa.
She knows this is bad, a toxic relationship but she couldn’t find a way out of it. Normally, she isn’t that weak. Hey, she is a doctor.
She is brave enough to tell him that she can raise the kid all alone, and she does until he came around. She even was ready to let go of his relationship by putting her daughter first, by not trying to contact him for like three years before he could eventually find her. Did she believe in the fact that things will come around?
Now, this is all new to me. I don’t understand toxic relationships. I call them shit because why one should love someone and end up hurting themselves?
I even bashed the film when it got released.
Then I realized that is how things work. That is how most of the relationship work. It is hypocrisy, to be honest. I used to believe in fairytales but this ain’t one. It took me two years to understand about toxic relationships. It is a drug which we know is a poison, but we end up taking it because of the addiction. It takes a lot to make this relationship work as well as to break the same. In my case, I found the latter easier.
Now, coming back to Aditi, this film is certainly a big break in her career. I could see her all over the place. The banners, the love, the fan clubs and everything. She was there singing songs as well. This certainly got me like jealous. I mean, all of a sudden, everyone started acting as they knew her. I went crazy, telling people to back off. I know this is funny now. But yes, I did. I mean, I know this woman for like years and how can people who came around now suddenly start thinking like this. I do feel bad for not having an opportunity to meet her. With all the fans around now, I don’t see a possibility anywhere. It took me years to tell her that I do exist. I’m so glad that I did that.
I do wish I get to meet her someday tell her how much she means to me and how she is one of the main reasons for me to get up daily and battle that anxiety-depression I was going through, and to do what I like.
This is so hard to put in words. For an introvert like me who actually have the fears of relationships what I feel about Aditi is crazy and this is more of a feeling (I’m not even reading this again). You got to feel it, walk in my shoes before judging or laughing at this. Wipes Tears
