I have anxiety, and I know how difficult it is to live with it. You will be okay for a minute and all of a sudden there will be something that would mentally kill you. Even if you have many people around, it takes a lot to open up. Even if you open up, there will be a lot of people who are going to judge you, give you crappy advice which only adds weight to whatever you are going through. Again, there are a few good souls who accept you for what you are and helps you in getting over things.
A few days back, I tried my best to open up. I did. I posted online, and I had a surprise. I had Vignesh Karthick of ‘Yours Shamefully’, opening up about his anxiety which actually helped me out. Because I understood that I was not alone. I asked him if it is okay to share his story with the people, and he said yes.
When and how did you realise that you are having a panic attack?
I have anxiety neurosis. I have been handling it since 2010. It was during my final year of Engineering. I had arrears, and I continued to study non-stop for one month, day and night. After a few days, I realised that something was not right. Then I knew that it was anxiety trouble.
Did you approach the therapist?
I was under medication for two years, and then I quit.
Why?
For me, physical activity is the best. I play badminton for two hours a day for the past five years.
I have panic attacks at times. Do you go through the same?
Yes, I used to have panic attacks. Long back, I used to think that I’m having a heart attack and I’m going to die. I used to carry a BP machine with me. Whenever I feel that I have attacks, I used to check my BP and if things are okay, I will get to normal. After years, I stopped using it.
To get over it, self-realisation is the key. Now, when I have attacks, I cheer myself up. I tell myself it is going to be okay. Also, I realised that I stopped having attacks when I kept myself occupied.
Do you have attacks even now?
Yes, I do at times. I also realised that sleep plays a major factor. If I get a good amount of sleep, I’ll be okay, and if not, the next day, I feel that I have a panic attack. So, I understood the importance of good sleep.
He signs off.
Thank you, Vignesh Karthick for sharing your story. I certainly hope that it will be useful for people, I’m proud of you that you dared to open up.
