The former England U-19 captain Azeem Rafiq has claimed that he was “close to committing suicide” during his stint with county side Yorkshire because of racism.
“I know how close I was to committing suicide during my time at Yorkshire. I was living my family’s dream as a professional cricketer, but inside I was dying. I was dreading going to work. I was in pain every day,” Rafiq told ‘ESPNCricinfo‘.
“There were times I did things to try and fit in that, as a Muslim, I now look back on and regret. I’m not proud of it at all. But as soon as I stopped trying to fit in, I was an outsider,” he added.
“There were no coaches on the staff from a similar background who understood what it was like. It’s obvious to anyone who cares that there’s a problem. Do I think there is institutional racism? It’s at its peak in my opinion. It’s worse than it’s ever been,” Rafiq alleged.
“I believe the club is institutionally racist and I don’t believe they are prepared to acknowledge the fact or willing to change,” he added.
Rafiq also added that the club used the death of his still born child as a reason to release him from the club.
“I took my son straight from the hospital to the funeral.”
“Yorkshire told me they would look after me professionally and personally. But all I heard after that was a short e-mail. I was told I was being released. I felt it was used against me, really. The way it was done was horrible. It killed me for a while. I lost all trust in anything and anyone. I’d spent the best part of a decade around those people. I thought they had my best interests at heart. I lost faith in humanity,” Rafiq said.
