In Conversation With

“I created my opportunities and didn’t wait for it”, says Alfred

Alfred Jose started as an event manager and built himself by designing for his events. Then he discovered his passion for photography. From 2001, he became a speaker .

We-for people is the company which created many intelluctual properties like Xtract, Adukalam.
Xtract is the event to create public speakers.

Adukalam is for talented people who doesn’t get a proper platform to showcase his talents.

It was a life lesson for me to talk with him. I couldn’t draft my experience with him in a single word. This is more than an opportunity to me and here comes my conversation with Alfred.

Alfred is known for motivation people. Who motivates Alfred?

There is always external motivation and internal motivation.
External motivation is when we are down, we get motivation from outside. That might work for a day or a week.
Internal motivation is more like self analysing and we will know where we are going and what we want. No mentor or no inspiration from outside is needed for me.
My experiences are from the bitter situations I faced. So I couldn’t pick one person as my inspiration. Though there were supportive friends, they weren’t my inspiration. My internal motivation and “what I want to be” brought me to this place. I created my own opportunities and didn’t wait for it.

When you made yourself made as
a motivational speaker?

Till now people call me as a motivational speaker but I call myself as a life coach. In present people think motivational speeches as advices. But that’s not what I do. In all my speeches, I won’t address people to take it as an advice. I always request people to follow instead of asking them to do. When I go to other speech events, I learn two things. I assess the people who were sitting with me and find them uninteresting while listening to the speaker’s few portions and some points I find new and try to implement in few situations of my audience.
In 2001, I started this career. I attended many conferences and realised , ” Why can they do but I cannot?”. That’s how it all started.
Only from 2008 I was charging my speeches. Cognizant, Anna University and 20 more establishments are major clients of mine. I started doing in Malaysia and other countries too. Money have always been secondary to me. I want to heal the soul which needs to be healed.

What was your motto before starting to become a speaker ?

Actually I didn’t have any motto. When a cat is cornered and when it feels there is no other way to escape it shows its full power. That’s how I built myself after so many failures. There were no support in my initial days. I was pushed towards loneliness. There was a time when 100 rs was such a big deal to me. I revisited myself and psychologically analysed that every human being either educated or not , if we draft a list, every human is possible to do 58 works. For example, if we get a knife and we want to cut a tree we will do it. But we won’t take it as a profession. But there are people who take that as a profession and do it day to day. That’s their livelyhood. Living is not important. The way we love to live is important. For people, lifestyle is more important than living.
I was cornered. I had no other choice and I drafted a list of what all the things I know like photography, designing, I have also acted in movies. Companies like Myntra,Club factory, Chennai Silks are my clients. I ran behind success. You have to make the world know that you have these talents. So I made all these as my profession.

You have made people to not think about depression. Have you been through it?

I am also a human. Of course, I have been through loneliness and that is the most horrible thing in this world. I met a friend of mine after 10 years and he said, “I am kind of greedy about you that you live such a lifestyle”. I replied, “You would have thought by now that if you quit your job right now and join with me you can live like me. But before 10 years, I never dreamt for this life. I just wanted someone to be with me. Now you all are with me. Nobody was with me when I needed people.
Live life with zero expectations. if you expect, it will lead to depression. I treat people equally. Just because someone is so close I wont be partial to them. I wont be close with anyone if I think that I will get profit out of them. I just treat everyone in the same way.

Have you had interactive sessions after your talk?

Yes and college students love to have a interactive session but corporate people doesnt. They just want the session to end. In a week, I listen to 10 different situations which I have not experienced in my life. Every situation I talk in my events is not from any book or watching youtube videos. Everything is from my own experience with someone.
A friend of mine always posted happy posts in social media but his wife said about the issues she is facing and then I realised that people just show off in this fake world called social media.

How can one stay motivated when something or someone is always trying to drag us down?

Simplest way is we have to be deaf at times, dumb at times and blind sometimes. When someone talks behind you, we have the nature to talk about it to 10 different people . We won’t come out of it. You should decide if you could reach your goal or not. Others should not. That would be my tip.

What do you want to say to people who easily gives up?

People don’t have a clear vision or people who just follow trial and error method easily gives up. Even if you are not a millionaire or you don’t own any luxurious brands you have to dress like a millionaire, you should talk like one, you have to think high about yourself. Never hold inferiority complex and that would help you to not give up.

According to me, life is unpredictable, what is life to you?

It cant be described in a word. Enjoy every moment. Everything you see teaches you a lesson. One important thing is, you should be open to learn. If not your life will become miserable.
In school if we were asked, which master you dont like? . Our answer would be PT master as he was strict. But everyone loves PT period. Student love sports because games teach you many things like compromising,how to overcome inferiority complex and many things.
Every game of our young age was related to mental illness.
There was a game when you have to balance stones in your hand, you know how to balance as both your left and right brain works.

In snake and ladder, everyone wants the number 6 or 5 in dice. But only if you get 1, you can get into the game. Life starts with one. Then you will grow by rolling 5, 6, 4 and go up the ladder. Suddenly you will get bitten by a snake and start from square 1. What we learn from this is , ” start from the basics, learn from the mistakes”. at times we need 1 or 2 to win.

In paandi, when we hop we all say “right ah? right ah?”. we can hop in single leg. Everyone can. But we got to get advice from others too. we cant decide everything in our own. One should say “right” when you ask if you are.
Pallanguli teaches how to share. Now everything is diminished and we are playing alone in a tab. We needn’t sit and talk with people. We just want to play with people,share your food, ideas, happiness and problems.

How important it is for you to be an NLP coach?

We have to be a person who could give opportunities and aid people. We need not be an NLP coach or anyone for that matter. Instead of frowning, try to develop others. People are longing for love, affection, authentication and praise.

How to create awareness that mental health is as important as physical illness?

We should observe the change in people. If people are refusing to share or if a person is with his gadget all time or leaves a party soon then there is a problem with him. These are the symptoms. We have to spend time by sharing with friends. One should show love to everyone not just to one person.

Which sector of people often reaches you?

At a very young age, some people take the family responsibilities and people who search for jobs are attending my session. Such people cannot share their problems with friends too. People who work in swiggy or zomato are working because they are getting humiliated by his family and friends. After five years, when he wants to draft an a resume, he will find odd to write that he worked in swiggy or Uber. But for now, as in need of money he is working in such joints. But people who are not putting any effort in getting the job has the thought of killing himself. Also women with no husband or if her husband is not fit, attends my coaching classes. Some women who are in house all the time hallucinates that she is not attractive enough and her husband is going behind some other girl. Fear of security, women with inferiority complex are attending my session.

Have people dropped the thought of attempting to suicide after your session?

After my counseling nobody have attempted to die till date.

If not a motivational speaker, what would have been your next choice ?

Actually this is not my profession, its is my passion. what all I am studying from person to person, whatever I analyse is what I am speaking and that’s motivating people. I have 3 more plans to implement and next launch would be “24 frames” which is a youtube channel.

How do you pick speakers ?

Absolute talk happens in Anna nagar tower park. Seeing one’s commitment, timing, punctuality and the way they volunteer decides if they could become a speaker. I
ask them to send their talent through WhatsApp and decide if it entertains the audience.

To whom Alfred will you share?

RP. Hariharan and Joe Michael Praveen.
I have shared the maximum with them but not my problems, I just share what I go through and what’s my next move.

Alfred says, “Today people are doing social service to many which is a good thing. Instead of doing it to an unknown person, I would say people should help their friends and relatives who are in need”.